


Retracing the Steppe

by kukoriri (xuukinishi)



Series: Aurica's Backstory [3]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Gen, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-07-04 16:06:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15844728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xuukinishi/pseuds/kukoriri
Summary: To start a journey you need only take one step.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my character's canon Sadu is already khatun by now, but I'm not sure how canon compliant that is haha.

The Khatun of the Dotharl was doing some light maintenance on her staff. Though the next Naadam was quite far off, their tribe was ever engaged in conflicts large and small, and she frequently needed to repair it. She always applied the same sort of focus to this task as she did combat herself, but something drew her attention away.

Out of the corner of her eyes she spotted one of the quieter members of their tribe; just over thirteen summers but still not quite settled in their ways. Their eyes were unusually bright on this day, and Sadu could feel the change in her even from this distance.

Setting down her staff, her curiosity made way for excitement when her sharp eyes met Orika's fierce and determined stare. It was not at all unlike the eyes Sadu had seen when she herself was a child, watching the last Orika leave on the journey that would send only her weapon and soul back. The air buzzed with unspoken words, and Sadu greeted the other when she finally slowed her pace.

“You seem more like yourself Orika. Tell me what is it you wish to say.”

Orika shook her head. “No, no I am _not_ like myself. From the time I returned until now, I have felt ill at ease. I do not fare well in the tasks laid before me, and any story of my past life tells me of one much, much different from what I am now. I think I lost something...”

She lifted one scaled hand to her chest and looked down, before looking up again.

“I think it has something to do with why Yesun did not return with me. I wish to know more of the circumstances of our deaths, and I feel if I walk my path once more, I may come to understand both that and my own nature. And so Khatun, I will leave before the moon grows full.”

Sadu's eyes narrowed, but with mirth and not in disapproval.

“Without asking permission this time, Orika? ...Ah, I am not upset,” she said when Orika's expression faltered. “No, this news pleases me. It is good to see you confident in yourself, and I will not take that away from you. I give you my blessing.”

Sadu nodded deeply, the closest thing to a bow her nature and position allowed her to perform.

“Know though, that should you choose to return before death this time, we would be glad to welcome you back.”

The Khatun gave Orika a strong clap on her shoulder and Orika returned the gesture with a rare smile.

“Come, we will inform the others and see what supplies we might spare.”

——

Two days later Orika found herself making the trek to Reunion. She had packed lightly at her tribe's camp, carrying only a day's worth of food, a change of clothes, a bit of gold, her staff, and Yesun's sword. She still needed a handful of tools to make hunting and gathering a simpler process.

Her journey to Yanxia would be a long one. Although the place was not quite so far—only one short cave away—that entrance had been sealed when the force of ironmen that named itself Garlean made war on Doma. There was the river to the West, but it was simply too dangerous to sail it and risk being spotted by them, unable to defend herself from all sides on open water. The only other option was to circle around East, making her way to the coastline and heading south through whatever covering she could find.

She planned to head on foot for the latter half, but for her journey across the Steppe she would seek the companionship of a mount that might carry her more swiftly. As Orika had not yet ventured to attempt the trial of Bardam, their only option was to find a horse. Though the Goro had access to the most, it would cause great offense to request one of their own to ride. The Dataq were on the move so much however, they made sure to train each and every horse that ran along side them the art of tracking so that they might find each other again in case they were scattered. It was said that any one of their steeds could find their way back to the tribe should they be taken and placed at any edge of the Steppe. Since she would find herself parting with her own mount at such an edge, making contact with the Dataq seemed to be the best option.

The air was growing hot and dry, so Orika paused a few moments to put her hair up in a ponytail, then quickened her pace and arrived in Reunion before the sun peaked in the sky. As always, and unchanged from her first visit to the place, she found the crowd both thrilling and unnerving. As a Dotharl she carried herself with the pride of a great warrior before the other tribes, daring any who chose hostility as their greeting to return to the earth at her hands. She often enjoyed the mix of fear and reverence afforded to the “ _deathless ones_ ” who had all earned another lifetime. Dotharl were strong warriors, always working at earning their name another go at life, and every outsider counted her among them. But her lack of mastery over the tools of battle, and her ever growing sense of displacement also made large groups a problem at times. Her guard needed to be up constantly for those who might wish to challenge one of her tribe, and she did worry that her awkward conversational skills might reflect badly on them. Still, the smell of good food and the multitude of stories to be heard at the place would always win out over her hesitation.

She purchased some Shorlog and relished in the savory flavors as she roamed Reunion, looking for information on the last known whereabouts of the Dataq.

“Ah, Orika!”

Orika turned at the sound of their name. An elaborately dressed Xaela with skin of a deep lavender and long green hair jumped down off the rock where they had been observing the rest of Reunion. She blinked, only needing a moment to recognize them.

“...Ghoa?”

The metallic coins on his outfit rang out softly with his movements when he stepped closer. Though he was only older by a single summer, he was still a full head taller than her, making her need to tilt her head up awkwardly when he got closer. She frowned at this discomfort, a little extra annoyed by his bubbly and unconcerned smile.

“It is good to see you! Say, have you changed your mind about visiting your home away from home again?”

Ghoa was of the Qalli tribe. Once per lifetime, Orika would visit them to pay respects and offer assistance to the tribe that had raised her first incarnation. Ghoa's parents had known the last Orika, and had often told him of her lovely voice and steely beauty. He looked forward to the chance at meeting her and greeted Orika's trip last year with enough enthusiasm to ensure she wouldn't be able to forget him.

Though this Orika lacked the natural voice and cool determination of her predecessor, he hadn't been disappointed. He'd had a lot of fun getting to show her around the tribe and teach her a bit of their ways. Singing herself wasn't something she was all that interested in, but the magnetic melody his people put into their songs and plain words did inspire her feet to move, and they had enjoyed themselves, with Orika’s worries vanishing for a short time. All the same, once the week of her visit had come to an end she expressed that she would not be returning so that she might focus on her life with the Dotharl, thanking them for her stay and raising the first Orika to be the sort to have earned a sixth lifetime.

Ghoa found it silly to not keep contact after they'd had so much fun, and took it upon himself to invite her to return whenever their paths crossed.

“Nay, Ghoa, my mind is unchanged. I am searching for the Dataq.”

“Hm~?” He sung out his words as the Qalli were wont to do, adding a questioning tone.

“I need to borrow one of their steeds. I will be going to Yanxia.”

“Hm…” A slower, more worried tone. “Isn’t that where you died?”

Orika had told him and his family the little she knew of the end of her past life, as they had held affection for her former self.

“Yes, and that is why I wish to go. There are questions that won't allow me to rest.”

Ghoa was silent a few moments, wrinkling his nose then relaxing his face into a somber expression.

“What do you need to know so badly?”

Orika answered matter-of-factly, not one for lying where the truth or a blade might suffice.

“Who I was, where I died, and why my partner did not return with me.”

“But...you might not like the answers.”

“I know.”

“And you might not come back again!

“I do not fear death.”

“And if I asked you to stay?”

“I would not.”

Ghoa looked like he might cry, and Orika turned her head away to look down, uncomfortable. She was no stranger to guilt having lived a life feeling she wasn't quite enough, but being the cause of sadness for someone like him, who had only ever seen good in her, had her feeling worse than she had in a little while. But it wasn't enough to shake her resolve. His next words surprised her, however.

“Can I come? It’s too sad if you're all alone...”

“You...you need not worry over one such as myself. I am Dotharl, and I do not intend to die again before I’ve seen at least a hundred more battles here. Taking you there and back would only add to the risks.”

“So...you're saying you'll come back?”

She nodded. “Someday.”

Ghoa took her hand in both of his, pink eyes staring deeply in hers. “Okay, then I’ll be here! I’ll make you a really nice song if you tell me what your journey was like when you come home, so definitely come see us, okay?”

Orika shrugged and sighed out a smile. Even her parents hadn't been so fussy.

“Alright. Now let me get back to my search. I want to be moving before night settles in.”

“Oh, I can help with that! If you head east you’ll find another one of us, Nayuta. Just this morning she was telling me of her trade with the Dataq for the fabric of her new hip scarf. I think she’s collecting flowers to add to it.”

Orika nodded, appreciative. “Thank you Ghoa. May your next battle bring you victory.”

“You too, my friend.”

He bowed deeply and jumped back up on his rock, turning pointedly away from her so that she might only see his back.

Having not really been able to connect with those of her past life, her relationships with Sadu and Ghoa were valuable to her, though the former was often busy and the latter spent half of their time together being a burr in her side. She would miss her home, she realized, but this journey was too important.

Quickly, she made the purchase of a few more necessities and began her walk east.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Ghoa’s directions had been vague, but Orika didn't doubt that she could find this Nayuta. Even without landmarks to guide her, the Qalli always had some sort of song in their heart, and in the vast plain of the Steppe she was sure she would be able to hear them. In fact, Nayuta was sure to return the same way she'd come from Reunion, so Orika expected to see her walk towards theirself at some point if she didn't spot her first.

The sun was halfway below the clouds and the moon had begun to show her face when Orika heard the soft murmurs of a sweet melody carrying itself through the air. Just before her was a large outcropping of rocks a few heads taller than herself. Thinking she had finally come across her target, she called out to the other side.

Curiously enough, rather than dipping into conversational song, the sound stopped abruptly. It was unlikely then, that this person was Qalli. Orika could think of no tribe that roamed this particular area of the step with any frequency, so cautiously she called out again.

“I come as a friend. My weapons remain sheathed.”

Not hearing a reply, Orika stealthily creeped around the side of the rocks she hadn't called out from. Inside the small clearing they created, she found another Au Ra, roughly her age. The other was also quietly moving, trying to peek around the rock to the side Orika had just been standing at. They had long, pale fuchsia hair and wore garb Orika had not seen before. Though rare, there were whispers of quiet and forgotten tribes that made their homes on the Steppe without showing their faces in the Naadam, or even Reunion for trade.

“I am Orika, of the Dotharl.”

The other whipped around, alarmed. She met Orika's eyes and then briefly shifted her own from side to side as though worried there might be others around. Once satisfied that there were no others, she seemed to relax a bit.

“Hello, I'm sorry, you startled me. I was sure no one knew of this place...”

“I did not, I've only come here by chance, searching for someone. You are not Nayuta, are you?”

She shook her head. “My name is Okina.”

Orika noted that she seemed to be avoiding naming her tribe, and it made her curious. She was never known to be indirect, so she simply asked outright.

“What tribe do you come from? I know of none this far from the heart of the steppe. Our food and prey don't stray this way...do they?”

Okina looked uncomfortable. After a lengthy pause she answered.

“I...I can't talk about that. I shouldn't be here right now, actually. I just wanted to get outside and...”

“Sing?”

“Dance! You heard me singing?”

Orika couldn't help the amused smile that came to her face at Okina's strange reaction. She'd raised both hands to her face seemingly mortified, but Orika couldn't see why.

“You've picked a fine stage.” She said, looking around the outcropping. The land within it was flat but the edge of the circle formed by the rocks was littered with desert flowers. “I mistook you for a Qalli earlier, you know. Is that song something you made or one passed down to you?”

Okina's unease had slid away at this point, finding the red head before her to not be a threat. She still seemed somewhat embarrassed at being caught, but she answered anyway.

“Made. It wasn't anything really, I was just humming along while I moved. It's very quiet out here...peaceful, but it's hard to resist adding a bit of sound.”

Orika nodded. “I see. I lack such songs within me, but I do love to dance.”

She'd only just begun it, and Orika hadn't thought too deeply on what her journey meant. Like Ghoa had said, and like Sadu implied, it was quite possible she would die again. There was no telling what awaited her in Yanxia, and she would likely need to be on guard the entire time in such an unfamiliar, dangerous place. She would not find many opportunities to relax, if at all. She lay down her weapons and satchel, stretching a bit. It wouldn't hurt to indulge for what might be the last time, just for a bit. She wouldn't miss Nayuta if she only spent a bit of time here.

She shook out her braids and approached the center. “I think I'll join you, if you plan to stay here. And if you do... I wouldn't mind a bit more of that song.”

Without waiting for an answer, Orika began her dance. With her eyes closed, she reflected on her life up to this point. The life she'd spent waiting to find her place, the faces filled with expectations, the others filled just with warmth... The people who tugged at the corners of the heart so filled with want that she couldn't help but leave them anyway. She thought about the future. Would she find her answers or die unfulfilled? Would her soul burn bright in that moment or would she finally see her cycle of lives come to an end?

So many of her hopes were placed on finding out what happened to her, and finding Yesun again. Though her tribe had only told her of good things, Ghoa was right, and she could end up finding out something she didn't want to hear. What would she do if they really didn't reincarnate with her? What if they were actually still alive, and had just abandoned her and the tribe, leaving her to be this...mess? Which would be worse?

Her steps faltered a moment, and she stopped, brows furrowed, to peer up at the twilight sky. Then, she heard that soft melody again, and the shuffle of dirt beneath Okina's feet. It seemed she had been watching the whole time, rather than leaving. Drawn away from her darker thoughts, Orika began again to dance, matching her steps to Okina's adding a few hums and claps to their rhythm here and there. She found herself relaxing again, and wondered what it might be like to be filled with the contentment dancing brought her all of the time.

_'I hope to be this at ease when my journey ends.'_

——

The orange hues of the sky had darkened considerably to something more purple, signaling that the dark blue of the night wouldn't be long away. The two Au Ra had been quietly sitting in the clearing, having grown tired from their dancing but still in a pleasant enough mood.

“May I ask what saddened you so?”

To Orika's surprise Okina had broken their relatively comfortable silence. It wasn't unwelcome, however.

“Saddened?” She wasn't sure what Okina was asking about, since she was feeling alright right now.

“Earlier, when you stopped to look at the sky, I felt...Your face said that you were thinking about a lot of painful things. Oh, not that you have to tell me! I don't know you, really, I just wondered if it could help you to talk about it. I may not be able to do anything about it myself, but I could at least listen. My tribe comes to me about their troubles all the time, so I think I'm pretty good at that.”

Orika thought for a moment. There was no real reason to conceal her intentions here. It couldn't hurt the image of strength she wanted to build around her tribe either, for one so far away to know of her worries.

“I have a long journey ahead of me. I know not if you are aware of the Dotharli ways, but...”

She briefly told Okina of the fact that she had reincarnated without her partner from her last life for some strange reason she could not fathom. Orika told her she was going on a journey to Yanxia to learn more of her last life, and to hopefully find them in whatever form she could.

“Back to the place you died, alone? Even though you don't know what happened?”

Okina was nearly as expressionate as Ghoa, though nowhere near as dramatic. Her concern was plain to see, so Orika shrugged and responded.

“There is nothing to be concerned about. The worst that could happen is that I die, but for the Dotharl that means little if the combat provides enough kindling for our souls. I will simply move on into my next life, and hopefully, fare well enough to bring more honor to this name. If I do not earn that right, then I rest where Nhaama wills me to. However...”

Orika reached out to her right and touched the petals of a nearby flower.

“I love my home, and my people. I'm honored to have been born again, with this warrior's name. All I've ever wanted was to be at ease here, and live a life filled with combat at their side. If I could will myself to stay, I would. But I cannot, and as such I will miss this place.”

The fair-skinned Au Ra to her left hmmed a reply, nodding at her companion.

“I'm sorry, that you've been burdened this way.”

“It is simply as it is. The ones who mothered and fathered me in this life have always told me that my life was my own, to make as I will. But seeing those around me so easily fall into their roles troubles me too much. I think once I know better who I was, I will know who I am to become. I am glad to make this journey, and finally have my chance at learning what I seek.”

Okina nodded, lightly tracing a pattern in the dirt. “I too...”

“Someday I too hope to go beyond the Steppe. Though I mean not to make light of the troubles that led you here, I envy your freedom to make this choice. ...It may not be fair, but there is much I cannot tell you of myself or my tribe.”

“It is alright.”

“I like the role that I've been given, and I am happy to bear whatever burden I must to see it through. But I also can't help but to steal away and roam to places like this. The world is so, so beautiful. And so vast! There is much I know only through text, and I want to someday match each word in my memory to an image I've seen with my own eyes.”

It was Orika's turn to hmm in reply. “Perhaps our paths will cross again, then. I hope that by the time I might return home, you might be able to leave yours.”

Okina smiled, crossing her arms on her knees and leaning into them as she looked at the stars that were beginning to twinkle out.

“I would like that.”

The red-haired Au Ra then stood up, dusting off her outfit. The night would bring with it a chill, so she chose to not put her hair back up in a ponytail, to help keep her warm.

“Thank you for your kind ear. If more of those I encounter are like you, my journey will be swift indeed.”

“And thank you, for the company.” Okina replied, with a bigger smile than before. “I do hope you find what you're looking for. Oh! And it completely slipped my mind but...”

Okina recalled spotting another Au Ra on her way to the spot they were standing in now. She had circled around them as quietly as she could, but they had been weaving flowers into clothes in the middle of a field about a malm and a half to the north east.

“Could that be your Nayuta?”

“It seems likely.” Orika replied, gathering up her weapons. “Thank you again. May Nhaama smile on your battles to come.”

“Fare well, Orika.”

Okina bowed graciously, and headed off in the opposite direction of Orika.

With night looming, Orika had less time than she had planned that day for her search of the Dataq, but it had been time well spent. She followed Okina's directions and was quickly rewarded when she ran into a Nayuta on her way home. A brief exchanged followed, and Orika learned that the Dataq were just a bit more north of the field, choosing this area to camp for the night. In fact, it had been Nayuta's knowledge of the floral-scented sweetwater pool there that she had traded for their fabrics and spices. Orika thanked her, and moved north to barter.

In exchange for doing maintenance on their equipment for them and preparing khorkhog for the tribe's dinner and breakfast, she was allowed to stay with them that evening and borrow one of their horses the following morning. And when morning came, she set off refreshed and determined to see what Yanxia held for her.

 

 


End file.
